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Did anyone else find a little ironic John McCain’s insistence during Friday’s presidential debate that he “never won the Miss Congeniality award in the senate” when, of course, his running mate actually did win “Miss Congeniality” in the Miss Alaska pageant?

Also: during the debate, McCain said that a nuclear Iran poses an “existential threat” to the State of Israel.

I’ve been thinking about this for a while, now, and … to be honest, I’ve no idea what the man was talking about.

Certainly, the State of Israel has good cause for some existential questions: Why does Israel exist? … Where did it come from? … When will it finally be recognized as a terrorist state by the United States? (Er… that last question is an important question, but perhaps not an existential question.) Perhaps Israel should ask itself some questions: “Why am I here?” “What’s the meaning of my existence?” “Is life, like my borders, completely arbitrary and without rational justification?”

Certainly, these are questions that commentators and scholars have been asking for half a century now … questions still to be resolved … questions deeply troubling … cause for angst, if not existential angst …

My best guess, though, is simply that: McCain’s grasp of the English language is just a little tenuous. (Rather like his mentor George W Bush … who might actually be an intelligent man, but misuses words with the embarrassing regularity of a pretentious imbecile. Would it be too much to ask to have a leader who is fluent in … at least one language?)

When saying that Iran poses an “existential threat” to Israel, McCain probably meant that Iran threatens the existence of Israel. An existence-tial threat, as it were. Oh, ha ha, John McCain! You’re such a wordsmith!

Well, if McCain doesn’t know what existentialism is, it’s no wonder: he’s never been the sharpest crayon in the box. Oh, not by a long shot.

In fact, McCain graduated 884th in his Naval Academy class of 899 students.

That’s not the top 5% of his class … nope. Not even close.

That’s not even the bottom 5% of his class … or the bottom 2% of his class. That’s the bottom of the bottom 1% of his class.

Ouch.

Certainly, I don’t insist that every presidential candidate graduate magna cum laude from Havard, but I would hope the republican party could come up with a candidate who, say, graduated in the upper half of his class? Maybe just someone … average? No smarter–but no dumber–than the rest of us?

Oh, wait! Average! Like … Sarah Palin! Who took six years to attend five small colleges to graduate with a four-year dead-end degree in “communications-journalism” from the University of Idaho. How’s that for average? You can bet she didn’t graduate cum laude…

Maybe that’s average qualifications for a sportscaster. … But it makes me cringe to think that the people I spend the most time hanging out with are more educated than McCain’s VP pick. (!!)

Despite her sportscaster experience, Sarah Palin has poor posture. Poor posture!

Simply put: as Average-Joes go, McCain and Palin are, at best, pretty average joes. As a presidential hopefuls? They’re losers–abjectly and, we can only hope, in the fullest sense of the word.

Good lord.

Okay … one more: the McCain campaign originally listed Alaska’s proximity to Russia as part of Palin’s foreign relations experience. And somehow it’s stuck.

But what’s funny is that Republicans keep repeating this little factoid … in all seriousness. And Democrats keep repeating this little factoid with grimacing smiles. I guess what’s funny is that the Republicans who keep spouting this fact don’t really get it that they’re being made fun of. Even Sarah Palin doesn’t seem to get it. See below:

COURIC: You’ve cited Alaska’s proximity to Russia as part of your foreign policy experience. What did you mean by that?

PALIN: That Alaska has a very narrow maritime border between a foreign country, Russia, and on our other side, the land– boundary that we have with– Canada. It– it’s funny that a comment like that was– kind of made to– cari– I don’t know, you know? Reporters–

COURIC: Mock?

PALIN: Yeah, mocked, I guess that’s the word, yeah.

COURIC: Explain to me why that enhances your foreign policy credentials.

PALIN: Well, it certainly does because our– our next door neighbors are foreign countries. They’re in the state that I am the executive of. And there in Russia–

COURIC: Have you ever been involved with any negotiations, for example, with the Russians?

PALIN: We have trade missions back and forth. We– we do– it’s very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia as Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border. It is– from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there. They are right next to– to our state.

There ya have it.

It took a few days for last week’s cortisone shot to kick in (a rather cool procedure … they put you on a slab and run a live x-ray machine to help the doctor guide the needle in to the correct place in your spine … if you’re not feint of heart, you can watch it happen), but it’s safe to say it has.

Strangely, I’m beginning to feel like a normal human being again.

In fact, I’ve even managed to SIT through a few of my classes, this last week. That doesn’t seem like much of an accomplishment, admittedly, but…

Thank you to my generous classmates who, over the last few weeks, have kindheartedly said things like, “ya know, there are these things called chairs…”

Yesterday morning held the wonders and fun of two exams. My afternoon was free, however, so Christina and I headed up to Palisade Falls (up Hyalite Canyon). The leaves are turning–I suspect we’re in for a beautiful fall–and the canyon was particularly pretty. We saw some awesome (textbook perfect) debris flows that had crashed over and covered up our paved, handicapped accessible trail…

Cortisone, of course, is a steroid–which explains why I’m up at 8:00 am on a Saturday, randomly spewing out the drivel that’s on my brain.

In other, related news: after hacking and coughing up sputum out of my lungs for the last six weeks, I finally (at the recommendation of my roommate) went to the doctor. Looks like I have bronchitis … *again*. Anyway, the doc’ put me on some antibiotics and, just three days later, I’m already feeling immeasurably better.

Right-o. Well, I think it’s about time for me to whip up a batch of tasty “Australian Pancakes” (probably a misnomer, but tasty nonetheless) for breakfast. Here! I’ll post the recipe*!

1 cup flour

2 tbps sugar or honey

3/4 tsp salt

3 eggs

2 cups milk

1 cup light cream

2 tbsp butter

Combine all ingredients except butter. Melt butter in heavy skillet until sizzling. Then, add batter mix. Bake at 400 degrees for 30 minutes.

*Thanks, Mom!

Well, the new semester is officially rip-roaring away.

I realized this on Thursday when I showed up to my History 407 class. I knew that there was a paper due some time … and to see all the neatly typed and printed papers sitting on desks around the room, I realized that Thursday must have been the day.

I mean, that’s how you know the semester has really started: first paper, or first test.

So … I was a little panicked, but I didn’t lose my cool. Uh uh. No sir. Not me. I whipped out my laptop (as if to take notes … as I usually do, using Microsoft OneNote), but this time, I opened Word instead. Then, setting a stunning new record for personal procrastination, I proceeded to pound out a three page paper on the historical accuracy (and lack thereof) of Mel Gibson’s Apocolypto. It’s probably the worst paper I’ve written in my college career … but I have a sneaking suspicion that it’ll fetch an easy “B”.

So yeah. The semester is under way. I’m taking … how many classes? Um … Econ 300-02*, 313, 401, 406 and 500-01* (* – one credit seminars) and Hist 407 (as mentioned above) and Earth Science 111 (intro geology … which I got a shining “D+” in last semester, after sleeping through the second of three exams. The plan was a little cocky … to never go to class (except on exam days), and to still get an “A”. Well, I failed on both accounts. Not only did I randomly go to class one day, but I also took home the aforementioned “D+”. I almost made it, though… I got good marks on the two tests I did take…). So what’s that? Seven classes?

As expected, the arrival of my Nintendo Wii has greatly enhanced productivity and performance. I have every expectation that the arrival of Super Smash Brothers – Brawl will do even more to enhance productivity.

Random fact:

According to the figures, 75 percent of all Americans viewed an online video in July and the average viewer watched 235 minutes of video during the month. More importantly for Google, the average YouTube user watched 54.8 videos in July.

The new living sit-u is fantastic. The new house is a little smaller (see: less ideal for throwing keggers), but the roommate situation is much improved. I’m still living with Bovard, but we managed to exchange Little Ben and Andrew (wonderful people, in their own right) for Eric Moog who, in addition to being a wonderful person, is also a wonderful roommate. He … cleans things! He has friends, and brings them over! He … does his own laundry! He cooks! And, of course, he adds charm and personality to the house — the “South Rouse House”.

Well, I’ve tried to stay above the political muck and mire, but I happened across a few Palin protest signs that I liked:

Pitbulls make poor Diplomats

Blink before going to war

Bristol Got to Choose – Why Don’t We?

Keep your laws off MY body

Vote Issues, Not Gender

Well, that’s all for now, I suppose. I think it’s time for a nap.

Ah, syllabus week. That wonderful first week of school when the class routine consists of showing up, calling role, handing out the course syllabus, and enduring the indignity of having the syllabus read aloud to you by the course professor.

Sadly, all but one of my classes began in this wasteful and most insulting of fashions.

Once–and just once–I had a professor do this:

“Hello, class. My name is Trevor Douglas. Here’s the course syllabus. You’re all literate people, I trust (if you’re not, this isn’t the class for you), so read this on your own time.”

And then he began lecturing. It was amazing. The down side, however, is that ever since, when I’ve shown up on the first day and the Prof has wasted the class period reading the syllabus aloud to us, I’ve been thoroughly annoyed.

So here’s a plea, professors of the world: start your class out right. Start your class with high expectations. Don’t waste an hour of our time, then send us on our way the first week. It doesn’t engender respect for the course, and it doesn’t demonstrate respect for your students’ time. So far as I’m concerned, if I’m showing up to class, it’s because I want to learn. Please don’t disapoint.

I’m pleased to note that Professor Andy Hanssen is one such professor who respects his students time. Class started at 6:10 pm last night. By 6:15, the class was engaged in a discussion of differing models of economics. After a while, he passed out the syllabus, mentioned a few of its salient points, and then went right in to a lecture. Thank you, Andy. I’m looking forward to your class.

In re: the Hurricane Gustav of the blogosphere: the scurrilous rumors surrounding Sarah Palin and her fifth-born child, Trig Palin.

Edit 2 – 1:34pm, 1 Sept 2008: Barack Obama has condemned the explosive attention to the emerging Bristol Palin pregnancy scandal and rumors. He stated in no uncertain terms that he “would strongly urge people to back off these kinds of stories. You know my mother had me when she was 18,” he continued, “and how a family deals with issues and, you know, teenage children, that shouldn’t be the topic of our politics and I hope that anybody who is supporting me understands that’s off limits.”

See more on ABC News.

Well, now I feel a bit chastised and juvenile. Nevertheless, it’s part of my nature–and probably human nature–to revel in painfully exposed episodes of hypocrisy, especially from politicians, and especially from the condescending, moralizing holier-than-thou Christian Right.

In any case, Bristol’s pregnancy is a singeing example of the failures of abstinence-only education, very close to home with one of its very visible and vocal proponents.

Edit – 10:45am, 1 Sept 2008: The Associated Press has released an announcement from Sarah and Todd Palin that their 17-year-old daughter, Bristol Palin, is pregnant. The article states that they claim Bristol is about five months along–effectively ruling her out as the mother of four-month-old Trig. We shall see, dear readers!

It started here: Daily KOS

I don’t believe that Bristol Palin is the mother of Trig. Or, I’m skeptical, at the very least.

But I do know that either:

1) Sarah Palin was reckless and potentially endangered her child by traveling from Texas to the small and poorly equipped hospital where Trig was born.

Or

2) There’s a bigger scandal afoot.

I also know that a lot of the pictures used to support this theory are highly suspect. The most prominent picture used (below) was taken in October of 2006, and so is completely bunk.

But the whole scenario is so tremendously strange that it will, inevitably, reflect negatively on Sarah Palin, in one form or another.

Right-o. Well, after a whole day of reading the myriad articles speculating wildly about the situation, and following the literally thousands of Wikipedia article revisions, I’m going to bed. I’ll let this thing work itself out on its own, I suppose.

Also, in other news, David Keto and Christina Carr have announced their intention to marry (…each other). When asked why, they both gave incoherent answers about “lots of cool stuff … extensive registry list …”. More news when I have it.

Here! a worthwhile article!
What McCain Didn’t Know About Sarah Palin