it took me two tries to remember the password for my own blog

Huh. Long time no blog.

Strange–I was ——— (nicely, of course) for my ——– —- –apparently, ——- — — —– —- —– — ——– —-.

I’m not sure if it’s more strange or flattering to be “found” on the internet. It’s still not something I’m much accustomed to.

In any case. It’s been a few weeks. I’ve been busy. But more–I’ve been in a foul mood. Didn’t realize it until today–but I guess I have. Chris once observed that my mood seems proportional to the mechanical condition of my vehicles. I’m not sure if it was true before–or if it’s merely self-fulfilling by virtue of having once been suggested.

Here’s a thought, as I sit here watching Florence + the Machine videos on YouTube (wishing for a USA tour…): I don’t know that musicians / actors / whoever else are really any more attractive than your average … Jane Doe. Or, that is, inherently attractive. Inevitably, as a female musician gains popularity, she simultaneously becomes something of a sex symbol. A few avoid it–by dressing in a purposefully modest fashion on stage, on album covers, etc. But by-and-large, I think most female actors and musicians also become sex symbols as they gain renown.

I begin to suspect that this has more to do with confidence than innate attractiveness. I think, as much as it’s the female figure, form, motions–it’s the ability to stand in front of a crowd, in front of an audience, with absolute confidence–that’s overwhelmingly attractive.

To say “confidence is sexy” is close–it identifies a correlation. But I suspect there’s causation behind it. I would say sexy follows confidence. Is Bono really that attractive of a guy? Yeah–but no more than the next guy. But when he steps on stage (in front of 80,000 adoring fans)–he’s the embodiment of sex appeal.

It makes sense. You don’t have to be Richard Dawkins to figure out that you want the alpha-male (is there such a think as the alpha-female?) as your mate.

So, perhaps, you can skip the intermediary step. Perhaps confidence, simply, is sexy.

Confidence can be faked. But I suspect that faking confidence is the only way to become confident. You fake it at first. I suspect everyone does. But after you fake it a few times, you don’t have to fake it anymore…

Oh, dear reader, I seem to have found myself on a bit of a tangent. I guess the point is this: I’ve convinced myself that, if I ever want to by “sexy” (which would be nice, of course, but it’s not something high on the priority list), I just need to push myself and fake confidence. The first few times, I probably wouldn’t even succeed. But after faking it a few times, I suspect I would actually start to develop some bona-fide, gonads-verified confidence.

Of course, it would help to make the obligatory stop by “The Buckle” (or whatever the trendy clothier-du-jour is) and pick up some faded blue-jeans, pointy leather shoes, and a few collared shirts.

I guess it’s just nice to know (or think, anyway) that it’s out there. Maybe, it’s just self-delusion to think that being “sexy” is a choice–rather than something you’re born with. Maybe, some day I’ll find out.

In the mean time, I’m in a pleasant mood. Ken Burns awaits.

About Mark Egge

Two truths and a lie: Mark Egge is an outdoor enthusiast, opera singer, and a transportation data scientist. He lives in Bozeman, Montana.
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