Speed Machine

Well. It’s May 1st. I had my last class of the semester today–my last class for at least 8 months.

The ASMSU end-of-the-year banquet was tonight. As far as banquets go, I’d say it was a success: it was nice to get a chance to recognize those who have served the students over the last year.

As for me, I’m in the process of transitioning control of the Procrastinator Theater to Dave Keto, who was appointed as next year’s Procrastinator directory. There’s lots to be done, and we’ll be transitioning throughout the summer… In any case, I can rest very easy, knowing that Dave will take great care of the theater next year. And for me … well, I’m ready to be done with the theater. I enjoyed my time, and I’m ready for something else.

On Tuesday, I was offered a corps member position with the Montana Conservation Corps–which I accepted eagerly. The impact for me: I’ll be spending the next six months of my life working 10-day spikes in the back country of the Greater Yellowstone Region (including Yellowstone National Park, Grand Teton National Park, and Montana’s Beartooth Mountains). I’ll be doing a number of maintenance projects, including trail maintenance, erosion prevention, etc. I start May 19th, and will finish October 31st.

And I’m stoked. Six month’s in the back country? Sounds like just what I need as I continue to work on figuring out what’s next in my life.

Right now, it’s a typical Thursday night at the H.Q. … Ben’s playing DOTA on the community computer, Andrew’s sleeping, and Bovard is working on some upper-division math homework that I couldn’t begin to understand.

Last night, Andrew was sleeping on the couch, as he often does. It’s always the same scenario: he brings up his blanket the couch, and then announces that he’s going to do some reading. After about 20 minutes, he starts to drift to sleep (poor guy … he sleeps like 4 hours a night, on average). He sets his alarm for 20 minutes later (“I’m just going to take a nap,” he explains. For the next three hours, he wakes up every 20 minutes–not when his alarm clock goes off, but when the people in the room with him get annoyed by his alarm clock going off and yell at him. “Andrew. ANDREW. ANDREW!” … “Whoa … uh … Hey! Oh! My alarm…”

After one of these naps last night his alarm went off. He didn’t wake up. After a while, Christina piped up: “Andrew. Andrew! ANDREW!” He woke up, and mumbled something. He picked up his alarm clock (a “Screaming Meanie”), looked at up, and then–without turning it off–set it back down and rolled over and went back to sleep. Alarm clock … still going off.

Ah. Andrew. It’s going to be rather sad not having him around next year. Heck, it’s going to be rather sad not living at the H.Q. next year–Bovard and Andrew have both decided they need their own room. Andrew announced that he’s moving out. Bovard and I are currently looking for a new home.

And, goodness, I’m not looking forward to moving. I have so much STUFF. It’s out of control. I’m going to need like 5 moving trucks. Ug. Anyone want to help? All I need to move is … hundreds of books (boxes and boxes), shelving, a piano, a dryer, a dishwasher, a big beer-pong table, a motorcycle, a garage full of tools, lots of wood from my incomplete loft project, a grill, a lawnmower, a desk, a coffee table, a desktop computer, a couple printers, a couch, dishes, a picnic table, and all of my personal effects …

Anyhow. Happy end of the semester, everyone! I think there will be festivities at the H.Q. at the end of finals week. Check back for details!

Man does not live by bread alone…

I’ve been needing to go the grocery store for a long time. I was amused to note the status of my two refrigerators tonight, as I came home and loaded my leftover beer into the beer fridge.

Food Refrigerator
-Grated Cheddar Cheese: 1 package
-Salsa: Half bottle
-Cream Cheese: full container
-Sour Cream: 1/3 container
-Half-eaten container of yogurt
-Refried Beans: full tupperware container
-Full container Kefir Probiotic Yogurt Smoothie
-Half-eaten can of canned peaches
-Orange Juice: half carton
-Silk Soymilk: three-quarter carton
-Some rotten vegetables

Beer Mini-Fridge
-Keystone Light: 2 cans
-Old Milwaukee Light: 21 cans
-Schlitz: 1 pounder
-Redhook ESB: 5 bottles
-New Belgium Springboard: 1 bottle
-Sierra Nevada Summer Ale: 3 bottles
-Full Sail Amber Ale: 1 bottle
-New Belguim Mothership Wit: 1 bottle
-Deschutes Black Butte Porter: 3 bottles
-Full Sail LTD: 3 bottles
-Pyramid Snowcap: 4 bottles
-Deschutes Cinder Cone Red Ale: 1 bottle
-Pyramid Apricot Weitzen: 1 bottle

So. It appears that I have more types of beer than types of food. But no worries… it’s like Jesus said: “Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” I think Benjamin Franklin would imply that this so-called word is probably “beer,” concluding that “beer is proof that there is a God, he loves us, and he wants us to be happy.”

Of course, according to The Straight Dope, Man actually can live on bread alone … for at least two years (providing that the bread is very very low in sodium).

And, also, with “Man can not live by bread alone”, one can also spell “My blot – I need banana, veal, corn.” and, revealingly, “Not yond’ beaver meal, cannibal?”

Yeah. If anyone wants to go to the grocery store, just let me know. Give me a call.

I’ll pay you with beer.

Amazon.com doesn’t know where Montana is.

In 2004, Ben Folds, Ben Lee and Ben Kweller toured together in Australia. After the tour, they went into the studio and recorded a four-song EP, called “The Bens”. The album includes the single “Bruised”, included on Ben Folds’ 2006 supersunnyspeedgraphic EP–which is a fantastic song.

So, discovering that there was an EP recorded by three of my favorite Bens, called “The Bens”, I tried to download it. My first recourse was–for better or for worse–Mininova.org. Not surprisingly, Mininova came up empty-handed, so I turned to the iTunes store.

I found the album on iTunes with a little effort. Unfortunately, the album is not an “iTunes Plus” (DRM-free and high quality) offering. Rather unwilling to buy music that is > 192kbps and DRM protected, I turned to Amazon.com’s MP3 Store. Amazon.com has a similarly huge selection of music, all in high-quality (240kbps VBR) DRM-free MP3 format. I found “The Bens” and tried to download it–but, like last time I tried to buy something from Amazon, I ran into an error:

We are sorry…

We could not process your order. The sale of MP3 Downloads is currently available only to US customers located in the 48 contiguous states, Alaska, Hawaii, and the District of Columbia.

We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you.

Well, fantastic. Great job, Amazon.

When I visit thepiratebay.org, IT KNOWS where I’m located (via IP address lookup…). The sides of my search results are always strewn with advertisements: scantily-clad girls, fake names and ages, and a banner that says “FIND HOT GIRLS IN BOZEMAN, MT TONIGHT!

Maybe Amazon just isn’t aware that Montana is in the 48 contiguous states. That could be it. Actually, a quick call to Amazon customer support would tend to support that suspicion:

Him: Thank you for calling Amazon MP3 Store Customer Support. My name is Vijay. How can I help you?

Me: Yeah. I’m trying to buy an album, and having some trouble. When I click “Buy Album With 1-Click”, I get this error that tells me that my order can’t be processed because I’m not located in the 48 contiguous states.

Him: Sir, where are you located?

Me: Bozeman, MT.

Him: I’m sorry to inform you that the sale of MP3 downloads is currently available only to US customers located in the 48 contiguous states, Alaska…

Me: Yeah. I know.

Him: Sir, the sale of MP3s is not available in your area.

Me: I’m IN the 48 contiguous states! I’m in MONTANA! You know, north of WYOMING, east of NORTH DAKOTA…

Him: Oh. I’m sorry, sir. I was not aware that Montana was in the United States.

Needless to say, he wasn’t able to help.

I don’t blame him for not knowing where Montana is–it’s not like I could name more than five of India’s 20+ states–but I DO blame Amazon.com for doing a pretty pathetic job of training their outsourced customer support. I mean, give them a map or something. Putting a *check if location is in United States* instruction between Ask location. and Inform customer that sale of MP3s is not available in his/her area.

Sheesh.

So much for trying to buy my music. I guess I’ll just wait. Maybe someday Oink.cd will come back, and all of my prayers will be answered.

Procrastinator Burn Out

At long last … I’m starting to burn out on the Procrastinator.

Though tonight was a tremendous success–a free pre-screening of “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”–it was also thoroughly tiring. Some 403 students attending tonight’s screening and, despite slashing prices, the concessions stand made over $200. At the same time, I started working around 4:00 pm, and left the theater just after 3:00 am, feeling the first suggestion of what I hope doesn’t turn in to a cold. By the end of the week, I’ll have put in 25 hours at the theater alone–in addition to office hours, correspondence, website updates, etc.

It’s not that I’m tired of the job … it’s just volunteer burn out. By the end of last semester, I’d put in some 460 hours. Given my annual stipend of $2,500, my hourly wage would have been just under $5.50/hr–if I had stopped working last December. Since then, I’ve put in hundreds of additional hours. Despite putting in substantially less time, all but one of my employees will make more money than me this year. So at this point, for all intents and purposes, all of my time is volunteer labor.

As economists are wont to chide … incentives matter. And, at this point, there really aren’t any incentives left. No monetary incentives, and even the feel-good incentive is nearly non-existent at this point: I’ve already (in all humility) done a damn good job. And, no matter how much time I put in between now and the end of my term, I’ll still have done (and only done) a damn good job. There’s no chance of promotion. No additional human capital to create. No pay raise. No additional bullets to add to my resume, or things to brag about during an interview. No additional pats on the back…

There are still things that need doing–finalizing the myriad details of the new theater transition, drafting a year-end report, getting t-shirts printed, finding a buyer for our popcorn popper, selling the hundreds and hundreds of movie posters accumulated in the office… But I just don’t have the fresh determination to tackle those tasks. I have plenty of other things in my life that need my attention…

Fortunately, the end is in sight. Three more shows, and then it’s done. A few more shows, and I can start handing off tasks and projects to the new committee head. And … as long as that new committee head is competent and dedicated, I’m now fully ready to pass the baton.

Ug. It’s late. I’m going to bed.

Back Online! and, Election Results!

Hello, World.

My apologies to those of you who have tried to reach this site over the past two weeks. My website has been down, while getting things worked out with my host. The goods news is that we’re up and running now. Good riddance.

Election Results
Dave and I lost the election for ASMSU President & Vice-President. It was a close race–Shane Colvin and Michael Pasque won by a margin of about 40 votes, out of some 1,600.

Dave and I are disappointed, of course, but I’m excited about the other options available to me this fall, instead.

The semester is beginning to wind down. I have a few projects to complete, a little writing, but should finish without too much stress.

My plans for next semester are in flux, at the moment, but I’ll post here as soon as I know what next semester has in store.