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Good heavens. I guess I’m glad to be at work– in the last 26 hours, I’ve spent 24 hour editing. I took a 45 minute or so break this morning around 1:00, and stopped again for a 30 minute breakfast this morning around 10:00, and that aside I’ve been sitting in front of my computer putting my T&C project together.

Thanksfully, Brian is going to take my Reid 304 shift this afternoon, which will give me a few more hours, and even more fortunate is that I’m please with the way that the project as a whole is coming together. More details when there are details to share.

Good god, I need sleep.

Strong though his literature teacher’s impact may have been, it was M’s social science teacher, Yang Changji, who was to have the deepest influence on M’s intellectual life. As M recalled later, Yang”was an idealist, and a man of high moral character. He believed in his ethics very strongly and tried to imbue his students with the desire to become just, moral, virtuous men, useful in society.”

Mao Zedong by Jonathan Spence

This passage caught me entirely off guard. I very much believe in the value of teaching and believe teaching to be a method of positively impact a society– a humanitarian effort, of sorts, in that it’s an investment of the teacher into the lives of his/her students. The hope of this is that the teacher will have a positive impact on the students, and through the students, on the world as a whole.

This description of Yang depicts him as, after an effect, the quintessential teacher. He was a virtuous man, who attempted to pass that virtue on to his students, and was able to effectively impact their lives.

But there’s something almost dreadful about this– if you haven’t already figured it out, M is Mao Zedong– a man both admirable for his ability to command power and loyalty and reprehensible for the terrors he affected with his power.

So then how is Yang to be regarded? Is he a hero for dedicating himself to his students, integrity and virtue? Or is he a villain for having given inspiration, guidance and encouragement to a man who was later to become one of the world’s greatest tyrants, in ranks with Hitler and Stalin? How is Yang to be regarded?

Yang has either done too much or too little– to much for giving education and inspiration– aiding and abetting— a life destroying monster or too little for failing to inspire Mao with a sense of humanity, a love of life, or dedication to justice. And how would Yang himself now look back on his actions? Could he laud himself for a life-well lived and discard Mao as being outside of his control? Or would he condemn himself for his influence? Would he wish that he been a farmer or a factory worker, rather than a teacher? Would be be able to look in the eye any of those who perished under Mao’s crazed cultural reforms? Would he say that his best just wasn’t good enough?

I wish that I, myself, could in my own mind absolve Yang of any and all guilt. To say that he was somehow responsible for Mao’s later actions seems somehow ridiculous– but if Yang is allowed/given no accountability for Mao, what is his virtue as a teacher? If he cannot be held responsible for ill, then likewise he cannot be help responsible for anything good. If Mao had later become a Nobel peace-prize winning world leader –one of the greatest humanitarians of our time– who brought an end to war and suffering and hunger… then Yang could have no responsibility or pride in that either, regardless of how much he served as an inspiration.

There’s more to this than meets the eye. Yes– to be an educator is a great humanitarian investment. But I think it’s more– it’s also a risk. It’s a hope that ultimately your investments as a teacher will be for good and not for ill– but it’s a hope without guarantee. Obviously, even the most exemplary of teachers runs the risk of failure.

I ended up writing a mini-review of What the Bleep Do We Know? in a comment on William’s blog, so I thought I’d go ahead and post it here:

I was very unimpressed with the film. It came across as a poorly done self-help video that was trying too hard to be trendy and appealing. The overriding theory of the movie is that an understanding of quantum physics has given scholars a new handle of the reason and purpose of life. They then extend this explanation of quantum mechanics to explain how we can find purpose and value in our lives– going so far as to almost boil it down to a three step plan. And, well… I’m sorry, but I find it just a bit presumptuous for ANYONE– movie, book, television, religion, professor, etc– to give me a formulaic method for my happiness and success.

I guess what I found so egregious about the presentation (in addition to the terrible, synthesized “healing” music that ran throughout the latter portion of the movie during which the antagonist suddenly begins to love herself and love her body and live happily with purpose and meaning after a brief breakdown where she screamed “I HATE YOU!” at the mirror and squirted toothpaste all over) was its presentation as fact. Although the ideas are interesting, and I guess they work for the film-makers, they’re not universal truths, and to present them as such undermines whatever validity they may have had as ideas (at least to me, as a skeptical viewer). Had the movie said “this interpretation of a law of quantum dynamics indicates that such and such…” I think it would have been a lot easier for me to swallow, rather than “the laws of quantum physics are this: which means this: which applies to you like this:”

Furthermore, for what is supposed to be an intellectual movie, I found the moments of intellect and insight to be few and far between. There were a few instances of interesting studies, ideas and theories being cited, but by-and-large(??) the script failed to demonstrate any abundance of intellect, wisdom or understanding on the part of either the screenwriter or the director.

As William pointed out, perhaps half the sources, who presented the films ideas through a series of plainly-shot interviews, had impressive credentials. The other half, however, seemed to be just scholarly hacks and university nuts.

I guess this is turning into a mini-review. Oh well.

A lot of it struck me as very Montana-State-Honors-Program-esque: just a compilation of esoteric, obscure and largely trivial knowledge presented so as to appear intelligent and scholarly. I hate to be the one to say it, but: it’s neither.

If I don’t burn a bridge, I’ll cross back over it.

Yeah, there’s a lot behind that statement, but no, I’m not going to explain it here. It’s just a realization that I came to this afternoon while driving back from Moonlight Basin.

Speaking of Moonlight, I went skiing today to capitalize on the four feet of snow that has fallen on the local ski slopes in the last week and a half. The conditions were probably the best I’ve ever skied on and, despite crashing five times and managing to get snow up my shirt and various other places while I slid down the hill head first, I managed to make it down a black run. Whoo. Go me!

Even better is that I managed to ski for $20– a friend from work gave me the hookup with a cheap lift-pass($20), and Grahm let me borrow his skis.

And… gunthernet.com is back up!!! (although this is probably only excited for us college students…)

It’s time for me to get working on my T&C project. Eek.

It’s 7:54. AM. And I didn’t stay up all night. I think this is definately some sort of record.

I certainly didn’t get up at 6:45AM on a non-school day of my own volition– for some stupid reason I signed up to open up the Reid 306 computer lab at 7:30 this morning for someone or another. Do I really need the money, or am I just a good soul? Doubtful on both accounts– I think I’m just stupid.

Well, since I was up so early, I think this is the point where I’m expected to say something profound about the morning like “I forgot how beautiful the sunrise was” or “I love the fresh clean morning air.” Well, here’s my profundity: morning’s suck. I want to go back to bed. =P

It’s the end of the week and I’ve done absolutely nothing. I guess that means its time for me to get back into the swing of going to school and doing homework and such. My T&C project is going to end up being a lot more modest than I had originally intended, but (so long as I invest the proper amount of time into it this weekend) it should turn out well just the same.

And… that’s about it. Hmm. I need coffee!

Remember when I posted yesterday and said it was snowing? Yeah, well, it still is. And I mean still– it hasn’t stopped. We’ve only managed like 6 inches of total accumulation, but still… it’s been snowing for 24 hours straight.

And speaking of yesterday, remember my nice, long Teri Shiavo rant? Yeah. That’s right. The Supreme Court rejected the case. Hell yeah. Maybe America isn’t as far gone as I sometimes think it is.

And.. speaking of today, it’s Friday, for all intents and purposes cuz I don’t have school tomorrow. Unfortunately, I’ll end up working for lots of hours instead, but what the heck– I’ll be getting paid to fart around on my laptop.

Life is snowy and good!

I woke up this morning (after wearing shorts around campus yesterday) to find the world blanketed in a wonderful layer of cool, pure snow. It’s still snowing, and I guess it’s going to keep snowing. And that makes me quite happy.

So now I’m sitting in my history of Rome class, waiting for things to get started. I didn’t do the reading, nor did I do the reading for my Asian history class that I have next, and I haven’t done the reading for my film class this afternoon. As a matter of fact, I really haven’t done any homework since my marathon before spring break. Whoo! (this is going to hurt later!)

So it’s been a couple days. True. What’s new? Good question, really. I’m quite glad to be back. Obviously I’m not yet back into the swing of school yet, but that’s quite alright by me.

Ken’s twin brother Keith is visiting for a few days. For the record, I kicked his ass at Smash last night. As a matter of fact, I beat Bovard by a good margin as well, and decided to quit before Andrew started playing, such that I had an undefeated night. Quit while you’re ahead. It’s a good policy.

This Teri Shiavo case really has my panties in a knot (*ahem* –that’s a figure of speech, of course). There’s so many layers of violation and stupidity– I’m quite sure I’ve only grasped a few of the many. But here’s my complaints:

Although not really an “assisted suicide” case, it does completely fall under the spectrum of the “right to die,” and if Shiavo is allowed to die, then it may well serve as a precedent to allow for legal assisted suicides and the like in the future.

1) We’ve given a right to live. Or are we? Are we forced to live? Shouldn’t we also be granted the right to die? If you told your husband that you would not want to live as a vegetable for fourteen years, wouldn’t you want your wishes to be granted?

By this I mean to point out that the national government is attempting to actively deny both Shiavo and the rest of the American population of a right to die. Without the right to die, there truly can be no right to live, but rather a mandate of life. You were conceived, and because your mother didn’t attempt the abortion by the correct date, you were legally bound to be brought into the world, and now that you’re in the world you’re legally bound to live in this world until you exhausted the resources of modern medicine and science. And you don’t have a choice.

Just thinking about that makes me feel claustrophobic– as though I’m in a cage or jail cell, and there’s no way out.

Of course I suppose its necessary– if people were killing themselves, the effect on our society’s moral would be devastating.

2) This is a very personal family matter. What the hell is this doing on every national broadcast and on the front page of every regional publication– newspapers, magazines, soon to be books, no doubt… What the hell is it doing on my blog? What a gross invasion of privacy that these family issues have become national issues that have become party issues that are well known to the majority of Americans.

3) On a more personal level… for the love of god, let the woman die for the love of the living. There’s no doubt that the last fourteen years of Shiavo’s life have been a living hell– he’s handcuffed to his wife’s hospital bed. He can’t move on. He can’t forget. He can’t go off and enjoy a well-earned vaction. He’s tied. His family is tied. They can’t enter the mourning process and move on with their lives so long as Shiavo is, technically, “living.”

4) Speaking of living… a line must be drawn somewhere? Sure, her biological processes function. Her heart pumps. Her stomach digests. Etc. But is that justification? There are no brain waves– no brain activity. No recognition, to happiness, no sadness, no hopes, dreams, aspirations, fears or thoughts. Right-wing conservative-Christians don’t try to stop me from turning my car off, but shouldn’t they? So long as I leave the key in, the engine turns. But life doesn’t consist of the presence of biological processes. Life is learning and experiencing and loving and losing and excitement boredom and tears and happiness and achievement… not the decomposition of glucose molecules 32 units of ATP that split into adenosine diphosphate and inorganic phosphate…

I dunno. Obviously. No one does. But it seems pretty clear to me that the federal government is far overstepping its grounds. Our government should exist to perform governmental functions–international relations, establishing trade policy, maintaining order, building roads, funding fire stations and other issues of government. But the function and role of government should not be to dictate the flow and functions of our daily lives. It should not be to unduly deny us of our basic human rights, especially on grounds of “moral judgment.” I’m an advocate of the separation of church and state. Let the church govern morality among its constituents. And let the state govern the function and purposes of the state. It is not the state’s place to put morally judge abortions or gay marriage or a husband’s fulfillment of his wife’s request.

But, of course, what can we do? Apathetically accept the status quo, and take whatever decision the court passes down without cry or protest? And if we protest? What then? Will our voice be heard? Of course not. Do we really have any say in governance? No, not really. The senators will decide what seems right to them, and Bush will allow or disallow it. If we had voted differently, Kerry would do the same–and who’s to stop him?

And, of course, is it even worth stopping? Even if we truly have no say in government, what of it? Does it matter? If they can keep us happy and sedated–lord knows that our quality of life in the United States is among the best in the world–then does it make the least bit of difference if the commoner has a voice in government? Would you stand up against the current system? Do I?

…

In other news, I was thinking about going skiing on Friday, but then I realized that I had signed up to cover a couple shifts. But I think I’ll go skiing on Saturday, so long as the snow keeps up. It will probably be the last opportunity of the season, and, well, I had better take advantage of it.

So I didn’t think that I had allergies. But now I’m thinking differently. Things are actually starting to turn green around Bozeman, and since the time I woke up this morning I’ve been sneezing like CRAZY and my nose has been running non-stop. Since it doesn’t feel like a cold, I’m blaming it on allergies. This is miserable. =)

Spring Break pictures are up:
http://www.eateggs.com/photos/05.03.20.spring.break/

So another day of break has come and gone. Ken and I were pretty lazy today– we slept late, and then just bummed around the house till we left around 3:00. Well, actually, we made muffins, then Ken watched T.V. and I downloaded like 3gb of music. (BROADBAND!!! WHOO!!)

Right-o. But anyhow, we drove north and, after driving past the house where my grandfather (on my mother’s side) used to live, we drove down to Canal Park and had dinner at Grandma’s. Dinner was enjoyable (pics of the looming moose later) and afterwards we drove up to the UMD campus, looking for one of Ken’s friends who wasn’t around. Since I didn’t have the confidence (or really the desire, for that matter) to start approaching random girls and asking if they knew where there was a party, we ended up heading back out of town for the Black Bear Casino.

I’ve never really been inside of a casino before. Sure, I’ve walked through casinos in Vegas, but its not the same as being inside and playing the games. Ken and I both tried our hands at the slot machines, which (of course) quickly relieved us of all our nickles. Tiring of that, I headed for the Blackjack tables, where apparently I had some beginner’s luck. Seeing that I was up $100, Ken joined in, but didn’t share my good fortune. All in all, I walked away $80 richer, and (since there was free Coke inside the casino) Ken ended up paying $25 for a Coke. Well, I guess you win some and you loose some. Overall, though, it was quite an enjoyable experience.

Ha. Sean’s away message states that he is “making love to a couple of hot pockets.” Well. Go Sean! For myself, I’m planning on going and making love to my pillow here in a bit, except without the “making love” bit. Right. That made sense. Ta ta.

Yeah, I know I have a problem. I’m addicted. Hello. My name is Mark, and I’m a net-o-holic.

No, not quite. Hello, my name is Mark, and I’m a firewall-free bandwidth-o-holic.

This isn’t the first time that I’ve kept myself up late into the night downloading music, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. I’m thoroughly enjoying Ken’s Comcast cable connection. I’ve been downloading at a solid 300kbps+ for the last hour from the amazing DC++. At present, I’m downloading at 374kbps and have 24 silmultaneous downloads going. Whoo!

But that’s not the point. The point is that today was great. Ken and I slept in (well, until 10:00 or so, which is sleeping in for me, as of late) and then drove back to the cities. Ken cleared away a space, and I connected up my laptop. I killed an hour or so downloading, and then we headed off to meet Ken’s mom for dinner at P.F. Chang’s. Yes, you’re jealous. Yes, I have leftovers in the refrigerator downstairs. No, you may not have any. =P

After an amazing dinner, we drove to a small-ish venue called The Cedar where we met up with Ken’s dad and had the distinct priviledge of getting to see Lunasa perform. They’re a five-man celtic group and I thoroughly enjoyed the show. I would upload some of their music, but alas: they weren’t selling CDs after the show. It’s all good, though. You’ll just have to take my word that they were good (quite possibly the highlight of break, thus far).

And all of that brings me, via a warm brownie smothered in mint ice-cream courtesy of Ken’s dad, to my perch in Ken’s loft at about 12:25AM. Eventually I’ll go to bed. In the mean time, I’m going crazy with all this bandwidth.

Well, happy st. patty’s day, everyone. Or something.