On Love (and other such nonsense)

Love: usually bullshit, and always a bad idea.

Deep, I know. =) I can’t explain why, but as I was trying to drift asleep last night, my last conscious thought was exactly that. A clever little maxim, I think.

Because it’s true! By love I mean in the “romantic,” gag-me-with-a-spoon Padmae: “Oh, Anakin I love you so much!” sense of the word, of course.

My arms are peeling like crazy. Rather gross, I would say.

Tonight I’m cleaning out my closet. But in a literal, not-Eminem-metaphorical sense. Right. For the record, I’m listening to Pearl Jam and U2. Not Eminem. No… really. I am!

So here’s another random thought: there’s an interesting parallel in literary devices between Episode III and Sophocles’ Oedipus Rex. In Episode III, Anakin learns his fate, and then in order to try to avoid his fate, he becomes evil and fulfills his fate. The only reason that Padmae (sp?!– like I care) dies during childbirth is because she’s lost her will to live because Anakin turned to the Dark Side to try to prevent her death, right? In case you’re not familiar with Oedipus Rex, a startlingly similar turn of events takes place. To make a long play short (you can thank me later), Oedipus learns his fate to kill his father and marry his mother, and only by trying to avoid it does he fulfill it.

Right. So if my blog were an English prof, I would turn this into a whole big long and boring paper instead of a two-line thesis. But it’s not. But you’re welcome to write the paper for me in the comments, if you really really want to. I won’t try to stop you….

So what does this mean? Exactly this: instead of reading FREAKING OEDIPUS REX for the hundred billionth time, classes should now simply watch Episode III because the same discussion about fate vs free will and blah blah blah can be derived from an entertaining and contemporary source. Right. Time for me to go talk to Mrs. Jessen and the honors director at MSU.

That’s it for the deep stuff tonight. Your head is probably hurting by now, so I’ll stop writing so you can go take some aspirin. =P

Nope. Just kidding. I’m going to make an announcement, that for the LAST FREAKING TIME, “good” is an adjective (or a noun, but we’re even going to go there). Not an adverb. Well is an adverb. Good is not. If you did good, you gave money to the poor. But if you earned an A++++++ on your exam, you did well. Not good. So, instead of reading “Crunchy chicken goes good on salads,” the sign in front of Taco Johns should read “Crunchy chicken goes well on salads.” The unfortunate (but logical) deduction from this grammatically incorrect sign being in place for the past three weeks is this:

it started in wyoming

Goin’ on at Taco John’s!

No. That would be a good deduction, but a wrong deduction. The correct deduction is that no one that works at Taco Johns can form a FREAKING correct English sentence, for John’s sake!

(Don’t worry, though– I called one of my buddies that works there and told him that the sign was grammatically incorrect, and I’m sure he’ll tell his supervisor, and they’ll fix the sign. Sheesh.)

(You think I’m kidding about calling. I’m not.)

And I’m really done now. Back to… cleaning out my closet …as it were.