How to Make A Casserole

I just learned how to make a casserole!

I was hungry. I went to the pantry. All I found was a box of penne noodles. Okay, that’s a start. Add noodles to a pot of salted boiling water, then back to homework for ten minutes.

[ten minutes later]

Okay, noodles are done. What’s in the fridge? Empty, except for a few cans of Duquesne Pilsner, a big tub of mayo, and a sad looking bottle of sriracha. Money.

Back to the pantry. Let’s see. Black beans? No. Tomato paste? Not going to help. Oh, what’s this pile of packages? Maybe a pesto mix packet? Too much to hope for? Hollandaise sauce mix, hollandaise sauce, and, oh! a foil packet of tuna. Probably ten years old. Fine. This stuff never expires, right?

This is going to be weird, but who cares? I’m hungry. Nobody is going to judge me.

Hey! This isn’t terrible. More mayo. More noodles. A minute in the microwave to bring everything up to the same temp, then it’s back to homework with weirdly-satisfying sustenance.

A casserole is born!

Mark’s Saturday Night Casserole

Recipe

Time: 15 minutes (5 active)

Serves: 1 desperate college student

Ingredients

  • 1 lb penne noodles, cooked a la dente
  • mayo
  • siracha
  • 1 package or can tuna. Preferably at least five years old.
  • 1 oz desperation

Instructions

  1. Put mayo and siracha in bowl and stir with fork to combine.
  2. Add tuna and mix.
  3. Add pasta, and stir with fork until pasta is coated.
  4. Place in microwave for 60 seconds.

Serve immediately.

About Mark Egge

Two truths and a lie: Mark Egge is an outdoor enthusiast, opera singer, and a data science student at Carnegie Mellon University. He lives in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
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