Thoughts while brushing my teeth

A roommate in college (Bovard) would often complete his entire morning routine with toothbrush in mouth, wearing just his bath towel. Sometimes the internet (or other shiny distractions) would intervene–and I don’t doubt if some mornings Bovard brushed his teeth (or, at least had a toothbrush in his mouth) for better than an hour.

Of course, we all try to multitask while brushing our teeth (right?). I’ve never aspired to be so adept as Bovard in this (or to have such excellent oral hygiene), but no one could accuse me of, uh, narcissism based on my morning rituals.

Only, some things go better with acts of oral hygiene than others. So, here I begin taxonomy of activities–those that go well with brushing teeth, and those that go poorly:

Activities that go well with brushing teeth

  • Tweeting
  • Searching for pants
  • Staring into the refrigerator
  • (In general: short tasks that require one or fewer hands)

Activities that go poorly with brushing teeth

  • Grinding coffee
  • Putting away dishes
  • (In general: tasks that require two hands, concentration, or more than sixty seconds to complete)

About Mark Egge

Two truths and a lie: Mark Egge is an outdoor enthusiast, opera singer, and a transportation data scientist. He lives in Bozeman, Montana.
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