… I’m DONE!. SO done. Done like tofurkey after three hours in the oven. Done like Brooks– as in … brooks & dunn? Oh noes. Seriously, I’m done. Done like too many dunn similes.
(disclaimer: the rest of this post is just a bunch of me praising myself, which isn’t even worth reading. There’s an awesome Format song that starts “can we take the next hour / to talk about me / to talk about me / and just talk about me…” You might as well click on to apple.com or some place interesting like that)
Done done ondoen Done Done done oneonefonefo dun dun dun.
Seriously. I’ve never worked this hard. Never so hard, nor so long. I’ve never slept so little. Seriously. This isn’t the sort of thing you post on a public board, but I’ve given myself a hemorrhoid from too many nights of caffeine induced diarrhea. Hey. There’s two words in a row with two Rs. How cool. Seriously, though, if you’ve never had more than 500mg or so of caffeine in a single evening, look it up. That’s what happens. Then do that every other night or so for two weeks straight. Uh.. yeah. I’m going to go see a doctor. Soon.
I have black marks up and down my right forearm, like track marks on a heroin addict. When I read, I flick my pen. Sometimes I miss, and the tip goes flying. Sometimes into my arm. Based on how many black marks are on my arm… I’ve been studying a LOT.
But … it’s just so exciting. I’ll NEVER take more difficult courses as an undergrad. More demanding courses, anyway. I’ll never have to work this hard again. But I did it. I made it through. And by all indications, I did it with flying colors.
Academically, anyway. Personally, the last week has actually been about the worst week I’ve had since fall of my freshman year…
But, right now, it’s absolutely BLIZZARDING outside. (Yeah, I know that’s not a verb, but eat me). When I dashed over to Wilson Hall (see: 300m from my dorm) this morning to slip my paper under my prof’s door (hopefully he’ll be fooled into thinking I put it under his door last night… or he just won’t care…), I had a solid quarter inch of snow caked on my by the time I made it back. On my way to work, I was trouncing through an inch of thick, heavy snow. When I dropped Patrick off at the airport at 5:00 a.m. this morning, it was 55 degrees and there wasn’t a hint of snow. Man, Bozeman’s beautiful in the snow. I think the MSU architects must have spent a lot of time thinking about “now, how would this look through snow so thick you can barely see what’s in front of you?” because it’s beautiful. MSU is fine the rest of the year, but it’s BEAUTIFUL today.
And I’m done.
Well, mostly. I still have a research paper to write when I get home, but I already have all the research done for it– I just need to come up with 5-7 pages about my topic. Actually, the challenge will be to ONLY write seven pages. I have seven pages of TINY notes. Ah…
No, what makes this feel so good is that, for the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, I’ve genuinely and CONSISTENTLY applied myself. I’ve worked hard. I’ve planned (pretty) well. (I don’t think I went to bed once this semester on the night before a paper was due, but on the other hand, I always got them in on time, or on time enough…). I didn’t waste time. I didn’t get distracted. Well, in a big way. I think I might have mild AD/HD. That’s ANOTHER trip to a doctor over break. Yay!
The window sill next to my desk is lined with empty Rockstar cans. Or Deathstar cans, as I call them– I’m going to detox over break. No caffeine, no sugar, no alcohol. And I’m going to go see about a half dozen doctors. And a month from now, I’m going to be well rested and healthy. Next semester I’m going to sleep more. I’ll live shorter… but ya know what? I’m fine with that. I’m absolutely fine with that.
This morning’s paper? Nine pages. Twenty-nine footnotes. All original research (I had to pull out microfilm archives for two of my sources. How COOL is that?!). The research was good, and the analysis was strong. There was a little bloat that I’ll probably cut when I reread the paper after I sober up (see: get some sleep), but it’s pretty well written, too. UNTOUCHED subject matter. To the best of my knowledge, NO ONE has written a paper evaluating the success (and lack thereof) of Federal Bureau of Indian Affairs policy from 1850 to 1890 with regards to the Spokane Indians. Ha!
Really, though, I LOVE history. I like doing RESEARCH, and writing analytical papers is immensely challenging but equally rewarding, when you find a particular angle, then build support for it and present your case in a logical, well-supported manner. There’s a good chance that I’m going to be doing research under Dr. Rydell next semester, which is a possibility that THRILLS me.
Seriously. I want to be published. I want to be published as an undergrad. I want to be published as a JUNIOR. Oh… delusions of grandeur. But maybe, just maybe…
I feel I’m well on my way.
Oh, cross my fingers for my GPA. Cross my fingers…