Tired, but rather happy.

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Mood is such an issue of choice. I choose to be happy, or I choose to be depressed, or I choose to be grumpy… I’ve arrived at this conclusion but a curious occurance that happened on my way out of my French class. I didn’t go to bed last night, so I’m certainly not of the most clear mental state at the moment. Walking out of my French class, however, I saw a friend from Cheyenne, and the first thought to go through my mind was “what sort of mood am I in? I’m in a depressed, lonely and isolationistic mood. I don’t want to talk to him.” No sooner than I had finished thinking that thought than I realized “no, I’m happy and hopeful today.” And I smiled and was happy and hopeful. Upon being happy and hopeful, I stopped to reflect on the patter of thought which had just occurred. My mood had changed 100% in a fraction of a second. It’s a CHOICE. Always a choice. I can choose to be grumpy and irritable because I’m tired, or I can choose to be silly and goofy because I’m tired. I haven’t been aware of this choice in the past, but I’m certainly going to exercise this ability to choose in the future.

I get the impression that the implications of this discovery extend just beyond the mood and state of mind after having not been to bed in many many hours. I think that my overall state of mind, be that happy, sad, depressed, excited, apathetic, uber-motivated, lonely, content, etc. are all states of mind which can be experienced, affected by outside factors, and chosen. Henceforth, then, I choose to be happy. Henceforth, I choose to be motivated. I didn’t do very well last night. Instead of doing my homework like a good student (I haven’t actually sat down and done homework in quite some time: bothersome…)