My internet is slow.

So I guess I post less with slow internet. Dial-up: a perfect hell.

I want to go to bed now, so I’ll just paste a portion of an email I wrote earlier tonight in lieu of some real substance:

Somehow even at my most sober I guess I could say that I feel half-intoxicated– so much of the world around us seems to be reeling and nonsensical. The pursuit of an illusory “god,” the pursuit of material possessions, the pursuit of other people, of ideals, of dreams, hopes… the unspeakable inhumanity present in the world, juxtaposed to overwhelming kindness or the breathtaking beauty of the evening silhouette of the Spanish Peaks. Cities, buildings, people, art, families, pollution, crime. The nagging sensation that there should be more than “the microcosmal reality of day-to-day routine” but no one to tell you what it is. And yet (at times) I find myself feeling inexplicably happy. It doesn’t make any sense, but I’m smiling. Just like being drunk.