I’ve been needing to go the grocery store for a long time. I was amused to note the status of my two refrigerators tonight, as I came home and loaded my leftover beer into the beer fridge.
-Grated Cheddar Cheese: 1 package
-Salsa: Half bottle
-Cream Cheese: full container
-Sour Cream: 1/3 container
-Half-eaten container of yogurt
-Refried Beans: full tupperware container
-Full container Kefir Probiotic Yogurt Smoothie
-Half-eaten can of canned peaches
-Orange Juice: half carton
-Silk Soymilk: three-quarter carton
-Some rotten vegetables
-Keystone Light: 2 cans
-Old Milwaukee Light: 21 cans
-Schlitz: 1 pounder
-Redhook ESB: 5 bottles
-New Belgium Springboard: 1 bottle
-Sierra Nevada Summer Ale: 3 bottles
-Full Sail Amber Ale: 1 bottle
-New Belguim Mothership Wit: 1 bottle
-Deschutes Black Butte Porter: 3 bottles
-Full Sail LTD: 3 bottles
-Pyramid Snowcap: 4 bottles
-Deschutes Cinder Cone Red Ale: 1 bottle
-Pyramid Apricot Weitzen: 1 bottle
So. It appears that I have more types of beer than types of food. But no worries… it’s like Jesus said: “Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” I think Benjamin Franklin would imply that this so-called word is probably “beer,” concluding that “beer is proof that there is a God, he loves us, and he wants us to be happy.”
Of course, according to The Straight Dope, Man actually can live on bread alone … for at least two years (providing that the bread is very very low in sodium).
And, also, with “Man can not live by bread alone”, one can also spell “My blot – I need banana, veal, corn.” and, revealingly, “Not yond’ beaver meal, cannibal?”
Yeah. If anyone wants to go to the grocery store, just let me know. Give me a call.
I’ll pay you with beer.